I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
