Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
