I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
