i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Say something about gay babies.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
