But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
