I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I love you.
Bad choice
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
