I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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