Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I want a musical about memes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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