he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize