i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We're too hungover to prance.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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