we have pet lesbian snakes
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
