8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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