I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
40s are totally the cure
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
