I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
