I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
