pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
