im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
