The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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