i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
