Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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