whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
