Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
