he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
