you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
