i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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