Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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