You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
