the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
