it was like his penis was on wheels.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
