do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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