And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
