you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
