I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
