covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
