hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
