i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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