I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize