is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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