You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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