Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
