I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
