The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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