i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
