Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
