you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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