It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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