To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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