Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
