If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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