Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
