There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm always down for nudity.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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