my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
