I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
