Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
