Say something about gay babies.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
