I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
