So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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